I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
