that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
this will be a night to untag.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize