Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
