Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
