I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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