Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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