We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
