Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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