He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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