You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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