Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Randomize
