we're blogging at a bar
I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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