Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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