i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
