Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
