the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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