You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
