heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
