I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize