Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize