I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
