Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I have demons in me.
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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