bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
