I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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