member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
