So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
