I must be too annoying 4 u.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Damn victory sex feels great
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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