Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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