nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
