You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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