whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize