I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
