What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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