i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize