I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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