so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
