I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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