do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
