The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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