all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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