I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize