He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
