Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
