I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
