I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Randomize
