Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
