There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
