he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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