i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
We named our party play list daddy issues
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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