I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
