i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
