I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
He kissed a someone with a penis
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Randomize
