Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Let's get the cat blown out
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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