Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Four minutes until I can fart!
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
