I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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