I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
