Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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