I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
