I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I need water and some morals
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