Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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