and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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