Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I faked an abortion last night.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
