he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
