Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
