nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
