I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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