I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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